Life events and the twisted thoughts they cause.

 

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It's Saturday night, and here I am Blogging! I need a life!


Water, Water everywhere! It's been raining like heck here all day long. The rivers, creeks and streams are all full and we are dur for more rain for the next three or four days. Time to gather the animals two by two and build a huge boat!


Some interesting facts that I learned this week and only now am getting to pass along -- we had some dude talk about building cars the other day. It seems that the Chrysler PT Cruiser was one of the first cars designed completely on computer. Every part was created and built in the virtual world first. Then it went to the production line. Therein lies the problem -- well okay, the second problem. The first problem with the PT Cruiser is it's a 30's retro style van built on the Dodge Neon frame. It's a Neon that thinks it's a van. That's problem one. The second problem is that it was designed on the computer, but not built! So when the PT Cruiser is assembled on the line, it takes them two hours just to install the engine! There just isn't very much room. It was so bad that they almost didn't go ahead with the PT Cruiser. Now why is that a problem, well some day that engine's going to need work. There's no room for the mechanic to get to anything without lifting the engine. If you own a PT Cruiser that needs engine work, it's going to cost you $1,200 plus the cost of the repair! The $1,200 is the labor cost to lift the engine out of the PT Cruiser.


This reminds me of the Diesel Rabbit my sister owned 20 years ago. It was a great little car! It ran and ran and ran! It had one major flaw -- the Glow Plugs. See, when the temp. gets below 60 with high humidity (which my sister had to deal with since she lived in Houston, Texas) you had to light the glow plugs to heat the cylinders so the Diesel would start. These glow plugs would short out when they would contact water. Since my sister didn't like to fill her car up at Truck stops, she filled up at auto gas stations. Since there weren't very many Diesel cars on the road in 1982, the Diesel Fuel would sit in the tank for a long time. Long enough to draw moisture. She would fill her Rabbit up, turn on the glow plugs, the injectors would shoot the watered down Diesel into the cylinders, and ZAP! BYE-BYE GLOW PLUG! Minor problem -- the only way to access the Glow Plugs was to lift the engine out of the car. $1,200 plus the new Glow Plugs! And this occured about every six months.


This evening, I helped a friend out with his video business and video taped a kiddie dance recital. Now you have to understand, that this is a town and county that is turning itself inside out because some guy opened a strip club (actually a topless joint) here last month. The Baptists are having strokes they are so upset. And yet, I shot two hours and 45 minutes of girls from the ages of 4 up to 21 dressed in skin tight, see through outfits -- rolling around on the floor flashing their crotches at the crowd, and shaking their boobs to the front row. Some of these girls had some bodacious ta-ta's too! And there they were leaning them out and shaking them (some showing nipples) to the folks in the front row. Then they would drop to the floor, spread their legs, and give the crowd a great look at their crotch! (With the zoom lens on the camera, I got up close and personal from the back of the room). And THIS is entertainment, if it is done in a school auditorium. Put the same show in a bar, and the world's going to HELL!


Speaking of going to Hell, I had a Southern Baptist tell me to my face the other day that I was going to Hell because I ride a motorcycle. I said to him "If you get there before I do, save me a place in line." He didn't know what to think about that and I was out of there before he could come up with something. I guess that's the Baptist way -- if I do it, it's okay but if YOU do it, you're burning in Hell! And if YOU do something that I (the Baptist) don't or won't do, you're going to burn in Hell! Makes me glad I don't believe in religion. BLOG OUT!
posted by Eric at 9:57 PM

 

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IT'S FRIDAY! Sorry I didn't get this on sooner, but yesterday was a brain-sucking nightmare!


Remember the accreditation crap I talked about last time, well we spent six hours yesterday and today re-writing our course syllabi for this reason: WE HAD TO CHANGE OUR HEADINGS! So instead of "Course Description", we now use "Content of the Course" and/or "Requirements of the course". We also have to list our "Goals of the Course" rather than the course overview. AND we now have to use "Methods of Evaluation" rather than Grades or Tests and Assignments. THEN we get to re-do the order in which everything appears! THESE SACS FOLKS DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO! What it boils down to is this -- in order to get accreditation all colleges will be teaching the same thing in the same way! There won't be anything like college anymore (someday). It will just be an extention of High School! You get five people with an agenda, and soon everyone has to bend to their will or they don't get accredited. This is SO MUCH CRAP! It's just another feather in an administratior's cap, which does nothing for the individual school! Except take away what makes each college unique. If colleges weren't unique, then why go to ANY school when ANY school would do?


Haley Barbour, the former chairman of the Republican Party and candidate for Mississippi Governor told a group of people at a campaign rally that kids in the Head Start Program "would be better off on the piano bench in a whore house." And this guy got Reagan, and the first Bush elected. Scary -- no?


Spent several hours last night watching the lunar eclipse through my telescope. Man, it was beautiful! Caught a couple of Iridum flares (Sunlight bouncing off tumbling Iridum satellites) too. They said if you were watching the moon at the right time, you could have seen the International Space Station pass between the Moon and the Earth. I guess I wasn't watching at the right time.


Did I mention IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!?


The best news of all is after today, I am OFF CONTRACT! So they can't call me in to work and I HAVE to show up! hee-hee-hee. Six weeks of Freedom! The four biggest reasons to teach on a nine-month contract are 1. June 2. July 3. August and 4. December! They have to give you this time off -- cause you ain't gonna get rich doing this.


In 20 minutes, I get to call it a day! jungleZone, your weekly dose of Drum and Bass is over at 6:00pm. Visit our radio station web site www.muw.edu/wmuw and check out THE ZONE Friday afternoons during the summer. During the school year we are on 24/7. However in the summer, there's no one to run the station so we shut down except for Friday afternoon's. I signed a contract, so we have to play them. They are way cool shows! It begins at 1:30pm and runs until 6:00pm Central Daylight time. Check us out!


Now I get to go home and mow the lawn, then do laundry! Whoo-Hoo! No rest for the weary! BLOG OUT!
posted by Eric at 3:43 PM

 

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I HATE WINDOWS 98! This thing I have in my house crashes at least three times a week! How in the heck did we let Microsoft take over the world with such CRAP?!


Not much new here, other than the rain -- and lots of it. Flood warnings out for everywhere! I guess I'll have to swim to town tomorrow.


Thoughts on the news: CNN is rebroadcasting a story out of Chicago from WLS-TV about a house that was trashed while a family was out of town on vacation. Apparently some neighborhood kid knew the code to disable the alarm system and invited 100 of his closest friends to a three day party. The place was totally trashed, with broken furniture, stolen money, jewelery, firearms and the family car taken on a joy ride. And why did these kids do this? According to an "expert" it was -- are you ready for this? -- MTV! Watching MTV and the movie "The Real Cancun" made these kids think that their behavior was okay! That, and the fact that the kids were "spoiled". Okay, how about dropping the mass media and leaving the spoiled reason? Where were these kids parents? Hey if the kids are getting clues on what's acceptable from MTV and The Real Cancun -- then their parents are total failures! Don't blame the media for the short comings of the parents. Oh wait -- it's not their fault -- it's society that made the kids bad.


Tomorrow we have our faculty meeting where we figure out how we are going to suck up to the SACS people for another year. SACS is the accreditation agency that somehow got the task of telling the rest of the world how well colleges do their job. All it boils down to is some group of Ph D's making sure that other PhD's that have no other marketable skill can still have a job. Talk about BULLSHIT the one thing we have to do is re-do the titles of the various parts of our syllabi. So now instead of saying what the "goals" of the class are, we have to tell them what the "desired outcomes for the course" are! SAME GODDAMN THING! But if we don't do that, then SACS says we aren't doing our job and we lose our Federal Funds. What a pile of shit! Harvard isn't accredited -- Yale isn't accredited -- NONE of the traditionally "Ivy-League" schools are accredited! Look, if the students are graduating, and they are getting good jobs in their chosen field, and the people who hire them are happy with the student's knowledge base -- and those students that go on to graduate school are doing very well because they are prepared -- sounds to me like we are doing their job! So why do we have some Art History Professor, who couldn't find work outside academia, telling us we have to have desired outcomes for the course on our syllabi? If someone can give me a good answer, would you please do so?


More on the other hoops we'll have to jump through when I finish with the sodomy -- er -- meeting. BLOG OUT!
posted by Eric at 7:58 PM

 

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Even a screaming 28.8 connection works with this Blog thing -- not bad for a white guy!


Today I almost got to see a bunch of old geezers go after each other with Golf clubs. I belong to the Rotary club here, and we meet at the local Country Club. I make it a point to ride my motorcycle to the meetings just so I can park it next to all the Cadillacs and Lincolns in the parking lot. Then I look fierce as I walk in the door whenever one of these old geezers gives me one of those "there's a motorcycle gang member" looks. They even tried to stop me at the door once -- when I flashed my club badge you should have seen the look on the lady's face! PRICELESS!


The meeting breaks up and I head out to smoke a cigarette before I ride home (one can't smoke in a full-face helmet). The first tee is just down from the parking lot. All of a sudden, 12 golf carts converge on the same tee! Out jumps these 12 old geezers (and I do mean OLD) when they get in a circle and start yelling at each other. It seems that six of the geezers were starting their round, while the other six were making the turn. They were getting in a shouting match figuring out which ones got to go first -- the ones who had the tee time, or the others who were half way through their round. Dudes were getting in each other's face and two of them pulled out 9-Irons and started walking toward each other. I was ready to start taking bets on who was going to win when someone decided on a compromise. I don't know which group got to go first, but the others sat in their golf carts and bitched while the other group, roared toward the tee in a cloud of flying grass and blue, two-cycle engine, smoke.


Keep in mind that these guys looked to be in their 70's. Each one of them had their OWN cart! Even though they were playing together, they had to ride in THEIR OWN CART. So first geezer sets up on the ladies tee -- which brought snickers from the "losing" group. He swings at the ball with every thing he has and hits it maybe 50 yards -- which brought even more snickers. The second guy goes to the men's tee, and hits it almost as far as dude on the ladies tee. The rest hit from the men's tee, and the longest tee shot went maybe 60 yards in the air. So when I left, the second group was setting up to hit, while the first group parked their carts across the fairway and were taking their sweet time hitting their second shot -- while two of the old geezers were having a smoke! Damn shame I had other things to do -- I would have loved to watch this show for the rest of the day. And they look down at me because I ride a motorcycle!


Speaking of which, when I ride anywhere out of town, I ALWAYS take the back roads! Why? Less traffic for one thing. For another, I get to watch the show every time I stop in one of these small Mississippi towns. I ride up to any convenience store wearing my leather jacket and boots. Get off the bike and walk in to get a soft drink, or some smokes or maybe a Snickers Bar. Before I pay for my purchase, every cop in this small town shows up! When they do, that's when I decide to have me some Fried Chicken, or one of the best things to come out of a gas station/Restaurant -- CHICKEN CHUNKS AND POTATO LOGS!


I always select the table next to the cops, who by this time are doing their best to not let me see them watching me. And I'll sit there and take my time eating! My record is an hour and a half with three cops sitting there drinking cup after cup of coffee. Then I ride off into the Sunset knowing that those cops are going to be peeing their bladders inside out within an hour! If the cops get there before I even get my Snickers Bar, (called by one of the cashiers in the back office) then I sit at the table nearest to the counter and sneer at the counter person every time the cops aren't looking. Hey, can't let them think they got me wrong! What really frosts their shorts is when their kids walk up to me and ask "Is that your motorcycle?" and I am nice to the kids! I LOVE THAT! Mom doesn't know whether to yell at the kids for walking up to "the motorcycle rider" or be impressed that I'll sit there and answer all their questions, AND include that I always wear my helmet and they should too when they ride their bicycles! Mom's LOVE that -- cause their kids think helmets aren't "cool" and here's a "cool" motorcyclist who ALWAYS wears his helmet! When I do that, usually two of the three cops leave. I guess they figure that if I talk to kids about helmet safety I'm not there to rape rob or pillage.


Big party going on at the Meth cookers house right now. Almost as if they never left. In fact, the same cars are pulling in the driveway, staying for 15 minutes and then leaving. At least now the Southern Belle can't narc on them -- she's staying with her 18 year old boyfriend! One of my friends has her in his class at the local middle school. He says that no one talks to her anymore. No one likes Narcs!


More rain due here later tonight or early tomorrow -- maybe three inches! I guess I'd better get started on that Ark! BLOG OUT!
posted by Eric at 8:53 PM

 

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Even a screaming 28.8 connection works with this Blog thing -- not bad for a white guy!


Today I almost got to see a bunch of old geezers go after each other with Golf clubs. I belong to the Rotary club here, and we meet at the local Country Club. I make it a point to ride my motorcycle to the meetings just so I can park it next to all the Cadillacs and Lincolns in the parking lot. Then I look fierce as I walk in the door whenever one of these old geezers gives me one of those "there's a motorcycle gang member" looks. They even tried to stop me at the door once -- when I flashed my club badge you should have seen the look on the lady's face! PRICELESS!


The meeting breaks up and I head out to smoke a cigarette before I ride home (one can't smoke in a full-face helmet). The first tee is just down from the parking lot. All of a sudden, 12 golf carts converge on the same tee! Out jumps these 12 old geezers (and I do mean OLD) when they get in a circle and start yelling at each other. It seems that six of the geezers were starting their round, while the other six were making the turn. They were getting in a shouting match figuring out which ones got to go first -- the ones who had the tee time, or the others who were half way through their round. Dudes were getting in each other's face and two of them pulled out 9-Irons and started walking toward each other. I was ready to start taking bets on who was going to win when someone decided on a compromise. I don't know which group got to go first, but the others sat in their golf carts and bitched while the other group, roared toward the tee in a cloud of flying grass and blue, two-cycle engine, smoke.


Keep in mind that these guys looked to be in their 70's. Each one of them had their OWN cart! Even though they were playing together, they had to ride in THEIR OWN CART. So first geezer sets up on the ladies tee -- which brought snickers from the "losing" group. He swings at the ball with every thing he has and hits it maybe 50 yards -- which brought even more snickers. The second guy goes to the men's tee, and hits it almost as far as dude on the ladies tee. The rest hit from the men's tee, and the longest tee shot went maybe 60 yards in the air. So when I left, the second group was setting up to hit, while the first group parked their carts across the fairway and were taking their sweet time hitting their second shot -- while two of the old geezers were having a smoke! Damn shame I had other things to do -- I would have loved to watch this show for the rest of the day. And they look down at me because I ride a motorcycle!


Speaking of which, when I ride anywhere out of town, I ALWAYS take the back roads! Why? Less traffic for one thing. For another, I get to watch the show every time I stop in one of these small Mississippi towns. I ride up to any convenience store wearing my leather jacket and boots. Get off the bike and walk in to get a soft drink, or some smokes or maybe a Snickers Bar. Before I pay for my purchase, every cop in this small town shows up! When they do, that's when I decide to have me some Fried Chicken, or one of the best things to come out of a gas station/Restaurant -- CHICKEN CHUNKS AND POTATO LOGS!


I always select the table next to the cops, who by this time are doing their best to not let me see them watching me. And I'll sit there and take my time eating! My record is an hour and a half with three cops sitting there drinking cup after cup of coffee. Then I ride off into the Sunset knowing that those cops are going to be peeing their bladders inside out within an hour! If the cops get there before I even get my Snickers Bar, (called by one of the cashiers in the back office) then I sit at the table nearest to the counter and sneer at the counter person every time the cops aren't looking. Hey, can't let them think they got me wrong! What really frosts their shorts is when their kids walk up to me and ask "Is that your motorcycle?" and I am nice to the kids! I LOVE THAT! Mom doesn't know whether to yell at the kids for walking up to "the motorcycle rider" or be impressed that I'll sit there and answer all their questions, AND include that I always wear my helmet and they should too when they ride their bicycles! Mom's LOVE that -- cause their kids think helmets aren't "cool" and here's a "cool" motorcyclist who ALWAYS wears his helmet! When I do that, usually two of the three cops leave. I guess they figure that if I talk to kids about helmet safety I'm not there to rape rob or pillage.


Big party going on at the Meth cookers house right now. Almost as if they never left. In fact, the same cars are pulling in the driveway, staying for 15 minutes and then leaving. At least now the Southern Belle can't narc on them -- she's staying with her 18 year old boyfriend! One of my friends has her in his class at the local middle school. He says that no one talks to her anymore. No one likes Narcs!


More rain due here later tonight or early tomorrow -- maybe three inches! I guess I'd better get started on that Ark! BLOG OUT!
posted by Eric at 8:53 PM

 

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Greetings Blog Heads! Here we go with another Monday again, and this time I'm blogging from home over a screaming 28.8kbps phone line! Going from dual T-1 lines to 28.8 is going to be some kind of culture shock, but somehow I'll muddle through.


I spent a couple of hours on line last night trying to find out if anyone I knew was hurt in the tornado that went through Hardin County Kentucky Saturday night/Sunday morning. Thank God no one was hurt (that I knew) but it took me a lot longer to find that out than it should have! When I was growing up back home in Kentucky, if you wanted to know what was REALLY going on and wanted to know FAST, you turned to WHAS 840 AM and/or WHAS-TV 11. That was before the stations were sold as part of the consolidation of the broadcasting companies.


So here I am in Mississippi, trying to find out when and where this tornado hit when I first heard about it on CNN. I go to the WHAS TV site first. Fill out some stupid "registration" form, which asks how often do I watch Channel 11 news. I LIVE 400 MILES AWAY YOU IDIOT! I NEVER WATCH CHANNEL 11 NEWS. Okay, so finally I get through the registration process, only to find NOTHING ON THE TORNADOES! I then go the WHAS Radio site, and find one paragraph about the tornado that touched down only 35 miles from the studio. So from there, I go to the WAVE 3 site. When I was a kid, WAVE 3 was NOT the news leader -- in fact, the only thing they had going for them was they were the first station with an old WSB-57 radar for weather. But I go to the WAVE site, and in two clicks I had all the information I wanted! WAY TO GO WAVE 3! YOU GUYS ARE ON TOP OF THINGS! WHAS, you guys are really starting to suck! NO wonder WAVE is kicking your ass all over Louisville. I hate to say it, but WHAS is NOT the place they used to be for news and information.


Other than that, vacation day 1 was great! (Well, it's not really vacation yet -- I'm still under contract until Friday, there's just not too much to do right now.) Smoking cigarettes and drinking Coke and watching TV is how I spent my day. A total slug day! And I LOVED IT!


Remember when I wrote how I would wonder how Alabama Football would react when they found out how Bear Bryant used to go to strip clubs? Guess what? HE DID! And, HE WAS A BOOZER TOO! Gee, I wonder if they would fire Bear were he the coach today?


The local High School team is playing for the state championship in Baseball right now. Depending on whether they win or lose is whether or not I'll have a mailbox in the morning, or if someone will die in a DUI tonight. Lose, they get drunk and drive fast through all the back roads around here. Win, and they get drunk and knock over mailboxes, throw toilet paper in trees and drive fast on back roads around here. At least when they win, they are headed somewhere rather than drive around aimlessly.


Looks like tomorrow there is more rain headed this way -- if we get too much more, we'll have to gather the animals two-by-two.


Finally, this thought -- where in the driver's manual does it say that Red lights mean Stop, Green means Go, and Yellow means FLOOR IT PAL! IF YOU CAN SEE THE LIGHT, YOU CAN MAKE IT!? Just curious -- and when you are first in line, and you see that person that just floored it coming toward you, and the light turns Green, does the manual also have a five second rule? The second car in line at a light must give the first car five seconds to move before the driver blows his/her horn? While being blind to the car fast approaching -- about to run the light? I guess that means if a person runs a Red light because they floored it when the light turned yellow, and you get T-boned because you moved within the five second rule -- then you don't die? BLOG OUT!

posted by Eric at 6:26 PM