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Friday, April 25, 2003
It's FRIDAY! WHOO-HOO! Another work week is almost behind me! All I have to do is get through the next three hours and I am DONE!
Tomorrow (Saturday) we do the Murder Mystery Dinner Play for the campus library. We have two more run throughs, and then we perform. The biggest mystery is why anyone thought any of us could ACT! They have sold out already, and they are thinking of moving us to a larger room for the dinner/play. If they do that, then we'll have less knowledge of where we are supposed to go. BREAK A LEG! I'll let you know how it goes.
We had another Tornado Warning last night. Surprisingly, everyone here took it in stride! After the F3 we had last November, you would think that this place would go Ape-Shit! But they handled it with class! I was impressed. We might have more tornadoes tonight! I hope not -- I'LL go Ape-Shit!
Where do we find such people? I watched two Navy ships dock this afternoon, coming back from the War. The ships had been deployed for nine months! Where do we find such people that would stay at sea for nine months, without complaining, fighting to free people they don't even know? GO NAVY!
SARS is getting worse -- now we can't go to the Far East, and now Toronto! What's next? My wife the Nurse has papers from the CDC explaining what SARS is, and how to prevent catching SARS if she has to treat SARS victims. Scary reading! You can read them for yourself at www.cdc.gov.
Here's how YOU can get your 15 minutes of fame! Just call your local news TV station and say that you were _____________ with Laci Peterson! Jeez, this morning we heard from the next door neighbor of some dude that sold Scott Peterson a car, and some lady that attended two lamaz-yoga classes with Laci! I was going to call and say that I was stuck behind Laci at the McDonalds drive thru! Maybe that will get me on Fox! Next thing we'll see, some old woman in a laundry will say she watched Scott Peterson wash his underware! Then we'll get a graphic description of his "skid mark."
Speaking of tornadoes, NASA announced a plan to study the possibility of launching satellites that would scan the Earth for Thunderstorms that might spawn tornadoes -- then the satellites will ZAP the storm with microwaves which will cook the storm and prevent the tornado! How they can keep from cooking people on the ground -- that's what they are going to study.
One week of classes left and then IT'S SUMMER VACATION! I don't know about the kids, but I NEED A VACATION!
Anybody see the Dixie Chicks on ABC last night? I did -- there wasn't anything else on that I wanted to watch that I wasn't taping so I can ZAP the commercials. So anybody REALLY think they were sorry? Anybody REALLY think that they didn't know what one of them said would blow up so high? Anybody REALLY care what they think about anything? Is anybody going to buy their CD's from now on? They may keep going as a Country group -- but they'll never reach the heights they could have -- everytime they do something, someone is going to bring up the bash on President Bush. Boy did they miss it with their core audience! Pearl Jam did worse things, and no one said anything -- because PJ's audience was anti-war. Country fans are Pro America, Pro Bush and Pro War! The Chicks should have known that! They know now.
Time to start jungleZone, your weekly dose of Drum and Bass on WMUW World Wide Web Radio -- www.muw.edu/wmuw Check it out!
posted by Eric at 1:40 PM
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
SARS is scary! Be afraid -- be very afraid! This stuff don't play! 25% mortality rate among healthy young adults! In some parts of Vietnam it kills 90% of it's victims. No drugs will stop it. There is no vaccine. You can get it just like catching a cold. In fact, you think you have a cold. Then it gets worse. Then if your body has a hole, there's stuff draining out it. Then you go into a coma for 9 days. If you wake up, it takes months to recover. Could this be the "Super Flu" from The Stand? President Bush signed an executive order last week making SARS a "manditory quarantine" disease. That means if you come down with SARS, or someone close to you does, the government can force you to stay in a quarantine zone for over 10 days. If you try to leave, you will be shot. The Feds ain't playing either. Be wary, be aware, be afraid.
Highlights from late night talk radio last night: The reason Mars is a dry, airless world isn't because Mars's gravity wasn't strong enough to keep the atmosphere and the water on the planet from evaporating into space. It's because Venus sucked all the water and atmosphere from Mars! So if men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, and Venus sucked Mars dry -- you supply the punchline. It works on so many levels.
More highlights: In 1995, Comet Hale-Bopp was discovered to be on a collision course with Earth. The Vatican contracted with NASA to quickly build an observatory in the Arizona desert to watch Hale-Bopp's approach. Why? Because the Vatican thought that Hale-Bopp was actually "Worm Wood" from the Book of Revelation. As Hale-Bopp got closer to the Sun and to the Earth, it mysteriously slowed down. It slowed to almost a stop. It waited off in the distance for three months, allowing the Earth to pass through it's path before Hale-Bopp again moved toward the Sun. Had it not slowed, we would have collided and the Earth would have been destroyed.
Yet more Highlights: The Moon is made up of part of the Earth that was ejected millions of years ago when an object almost as big as Mars collided with the young Earth. Evidence? The moon rocks brought back are chemically similar to the oldest rocks found on the Earth. PLUS we live on half a planet! The land masses of the Earth used to circle the globe. But now water covers the half of the planet that was goughed by the collision. We call it the Pacific Ocean.
Here's another one for you conspiracy theorists out there: On Fox News, it was reported that the US Military was ready to overthrow the government and declare Martial Law in late 1979 -- IF Jimmy Carter had won re-election. This came out as part of a discussion following a line that what the US military did in Iraq is a preview of what would happen if the military decided to take over the United States. Even if the Law abiding gun owners formed their own militias and tried to fight the take over, they would be as the irregulars in their pick up trucks against the M1 tanks. On a related note, in a survey of Marines stationed at Parris Island, 23% of Marines surveyed said that if ordered to, they would not have any problem firing on American citizens -- citizens that were not threatening the Marines, but protesting against anything. More than that said they would fire if so ordered, but it would bother them.
If someone gives you a penny for your thoughts, and you give them your two cents worth -- what happens to the other penny?
Today's college students don't want to learn something for the joy of learning, or the freedom that comes with knowledge. They only want to know what's going to be on the test -- or only what will get them a job. Colleges are becoming less centers of learning and more vocational schools.
Kids in the fourth grade know more about computers today than I did when I was in college. I didn't use a simple calculator in a Math class until I was in college. Now, you can't take some Math classes unless you have a certain kind of graphing calculator -- in elementary school. When they get to college, they can make computers do back flips with any program made. They can tell you stories about the "flavor of the month" singer or movie "star" -- but they don't study their material.
A belated HAPPY EARTH DAY to everyone! I hope you did something good for your planet this week!
It's been four years since Columbine! Has it REALLY been that long?
Last beautiful Spring day here in the Deep South until the weekend. NO rain for two weeks. We need rain -- just not as much as we are expected to get.
Ana, the first Tropical Storm of the year is churning up the Atlantic as you read this. The FIRST tropical storm since records have been kept to form this early. This doesn't bode well for this Hurricane season. Anyone still unsure about global warming?
Four days until the play! Three more rehearsals until opening and closing night! A third re-write of the script was given to everyone last night. I hope this is the last re-write -- NOW maybe I can learn my lines.
Blog time over. Must get back to work.
Blogging Out!
posted by Eric at 1:15 PM
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Another Tuesday has come and just about gone. It's this, and then off to play practice! We are doing a "Murder Dinner Theatre" thing to benefit the library. I hope that folks will give money anyway after we are done. It would be improv, except we THINK we know our lines!
The Meth cookers oldest kids (not the ones who turned them in -- the teenage girls from a previous marriage) are moving into their prisoner parent's house! Oh boy -- PARTY TIME! At least the dogs are getting fed.
It's not "Those that can, do -- those that can't, teach" in Higher Ed -- it's "Those that can, teach -- those that can't, become administrators."
Beautiful day here in the DEEP SOUTH! I got to ride my Suzuki to work today! If one more person says to me "Why don't you get a Harley?" I'm going POSTAL! I like to ride motorcycles -- not work on them! Show me a Harley that will go as far as a Suzuki without breaking down, and I'll buy it! As soon as they drop their prices! Harley's cost almost as much as my first house! That's why you see fat, old white guys wearing fringed leather jackets ride 100 miles in a weekend and then stand around and pose and pretend to be "bikers"! Mostly mid-life Dentists! Last weekend, for instance, I was riding down the highway when I see a motorcyclist pulled over on the shoulder of the road, lying under his motorcycle working on the final drive. Seeing a fellow rider in trouble, I pull over and ask if I can be of assistance. "FUCK OFF" was the reply -- why don't you dump that Jap piece of shit in the river and get you a REAL motorcycle? Get a fucking Harley? Because, I said, I much rather be on the road riding one that runs than lying beside the road working on one that only looks like it runs. Why are people like that? Gee, you don't hear "Dump that Jap Lexus in the River and get a real car -- Get a Cadillac!" Never happens.
It's not how I start the day that's the problem -- it's how the day ends up -- that bothers me.
The only way computers make my life easier is they give me something else to blame my screw ups on.
The Saving Private Lynch movie is set for later this year. Wonder if they'll cast George Clooney in it? They should make the story of Baghdad Bob. I'd pay to see that one!
Has anyone ever REALLY seen any movie Mary Kate and Ashley ever made?
Lets see -- Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, and the celebration starts right after Halloween (at least that's when the decorations go up and they start playing Christmas Carols. Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus. Now as far as I know, everybody gets born -- but only one has been resurrected (so far). One would think that Easter would be the larger holiday -- No? Nope totally the opposite. It's a global, retail conspiracy! Figure out how to get everyone to put up an Easter tree, and sing Easter carols and you would be RICH! Loose the Bunny though, he ain't got the gravitas of Santa Claus.
posted by Eric at 3:20 PM
Monday, April 21, 2003
HAPPY MONDAY! It's another work week, and here we are!
My quote of the weekend comes from QVC where a lady selling cosmetic kits said (quote) "We've got your YlangYlang right here!"
I spent my Sunday afternoon with Beavus and Butthead. My wife's son and one of his friends. They were helping us clear some land for our fence we are getting installed this week. Every 30 seconds you would hear "uh-huh-huh-huh-huh" from one of them. When I asked them to help me clear an old log from the fence line, they both said (quote) "uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh you said log." All I could do is turn to my wife and say "He's YOUR son!"
The other fun thing of note was the formation of our armed Neighborhood Watch program! Several of the neighborhood types spent Sunday afternoon practicing with their handguns! This included the neighborhood Sheriff's Deputy --who now gets to bring his car home when he gets off work! So in this part of the DEEP SOUTH, when someone declares a WAR on drugs -- we get out guns! Cops say there are at least four more Meth cookers in our neighborhood who are being investigated. Look for more busts in the next six months! IF the neighborhood watch doesn't get them first! BANG-BANG-BANG!
I got my motorcycle back Saturday. WOW! It hasn't run this good since I bought her new! For what I paid for it, it'd BETTER run good!
I am getting OLD! There are two ways that I know I am old: 1.) all the songs I listened to in high school are now "Classic Rock". AND 2.) the top-40 hits of the time are now on the Muzak in the hospital where my wife works! (Don't you want me, baby played by the living strings brings a tear to your eye -- and NOT because it's a beautiful rendition!)
Is anyone else besides me getting fed up with "our Hero POW's?" You know, I'm sorry but one group got captured because they made a wrong turn and drove into an Iraqi Army unit for Goodness's sake! THEY MADE A WRONG TURN! Now the Helicopter crew could be called heroes -- they at least were where they were supposed to be. It's amazing that their helicopter didn't have very many bullet holes in it. Wonder what the reason really was that caused the helicopter to go down? I do too. Will we ever know? I doubt it.
If Jessica Lynch and Shoshanna Johnson's outcomes were reversed -- would that have made any difference in the coverage?
The real heroes are all of the soldiers that answered the President's call and went 4,000 miles away to fight in a country that most of us didn't know was there. Whether or not you personally think that the soldiers SHOULD have been there in the first place, they are truly heroes. They answered the call said "Yessir" and did their jobs well! If you don't agree with the War in Iraq (pronounced ear-rock), that's fine. Don't take it out on the troops. They were doing what they were told! They were doing their job! In Vietnam, we took out our frustration with the war on the people who fought it! And THAT WASN'T RIGHT! The problem was with the old men who sent them there in the first place, and then didn't let them win the war, or pull out when the desire to win faded in D.C. And as far as the still missing POW/MIA's, BRING THEM HOME OR LET US GO BACK AND FINISH THE JOB OF FINDING THEM!
Even if Laci Pederson's husband didn't kill her, the media has already convicted him! If he's innocent of being a killer, he is guilty of being a JERK!
It has been announced that "Baghdad Bob" committed suicide. BUMMER! I shall miss his rants and raves about the war.
This weekend is Homecoming at the hallowed hall of academic excellence at which I work! I somehow got roped into playing in a little play to benefit our Library. This will not be fun! I must learn to say NO! I must be off to practice! THE STAGE AWAITS!!!!!
posted by Eric at 12:25 PM
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